guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
