when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize