shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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