Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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