We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
