my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
