Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
