I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
