Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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