Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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