i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
