I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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