it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
