Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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