I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This is my gift to your gina
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
