Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize