but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Ladies don't puke and tell
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
