we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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