she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
we're so committed to being not committed
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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