i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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