Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
