You smell like stripper and shame
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
