He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
