i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize