I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize