so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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