people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
