I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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