new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
