i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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