I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
