I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
