WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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