i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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