She said her name was "party"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize