I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
