You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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