then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
