i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
