He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
