I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
