Can i not drive my cunt home
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
