barbara walters just said penis...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
