I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
