He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
