Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
