i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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