He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
ttyl tear gas
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
