Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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