ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
