Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
