No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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