I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
