I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
