Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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