i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
