singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
