Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
