Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
