Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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